kingjamie.net

Malone: The Final Chapter

jking — Thu, 03 May 2012 15:09:27 +0000

Check out the dramatic conclusion of my webseries, Choose Malone’s Adventure!

I learned a lot working on this, and I’m pretty happy with where we ended up. Hope you enjoy it!

Check out the series from the beginning HERE.

Malone on the Home Stretch

jking — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 01:05:24 +0000

Choose Malone’s Adventure: Season 1, Episode 5 from ROAR Network on Vimeo.

SECOND TO LAST EPISODE OF “CHOOSE MALONE’S ADVENTURE” OF ALL TIME EVER! CATCH THE MAGIC!

Happy Leap Year Day Eve!

jking — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:46:17 +0000

My favorite holiday. Also, here’s some more Malone.

Choose Malone’s Adventure: Season 1, Episode 4 from ROAR Network on Vimeo.

GO HERE TO VOTE for what he should do next. Honestly, it’s the only way I’ll know what to write.

Malone’s Continuing Saga…

jking — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 23:40:26 +0000

Dude’s got problems:

Choose Malone’s Adventure: Season 1, Episode 3 from ROAR Network on Vimeo.

Vote HERE to tell him what to do
Thanks for watching!

College Collage

jking — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 23:21:55 +0000

Got another article up on College Humor! I like this one a lot:

SAT Questions That I Wish I Had Gotten Right Before Going to College

Also, here’s one I wrote for them that slipped through the cracks; I’ll throw it up here for all three of you to enjoy!

MASCOT OBITUARIES

· Pillsbury Doughboy – Impaled by finger.
· Kool Aid Man – “Oh Yeah’d” himself into a nuclear reactor.
· Frankenberry – Gay three-way suicide pact with Boo Berry and Count Chocula.
· Aflac Duck – Poisoned by eating Gieco Gecko.
· Verizon Guy – Locked himself in a public parking garage; no one could hear him screaming.
· Cap’n Crunch – Killed by angry father after he “made it happen” with an 11-year-old.
· Jolly Green Giant – Ripped apart at the hands of an angry mob led by Jimmy Dean.
· McGruff the Crime Dog – Toxic combination of extreme police corruption and licking his own balls.
· Gerber Baby – Whatever disease Gary Coleman had; that 45-year-old baby never ate solid food.
· “I’m a Mac” / “I’m a PC” Guys – Another gay three-way suicide pact…strangely, also with Boo Berry.
· Coppertone Girl – Rape. Just kidding, that would be so horrible, right? Seriously though, it was rape.
· Quaker Oats Man – Starved to death in a fully stocked, working kitchen, baffled by our modern technology.
· Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemima, and the Chiquita Banana Girl – Fought to the death after realizing they were all married to Uncle Ben.
· Uncle Ben – Nothing, he’s fine. Now he’s bangin’ the Land O’ Lakes Girl.
· Joe Camel – Ridden to death.
· Malboro Man – bucked from dying camel.
· Ronald McDonald – Beaten to death by large, unstable purple friend. Latter cannibalized by Hamburgler. That bird girl just watched the whole thing.
· Jared from Subway – Accidentally strangled by excess fabric while showing off enormous pair of former pants.
· Six Flags Dancing Old Man – Extremely exciting diabetes
· Priceline Negotiator – Klingons

Malone Away From Home

jking — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:07:38 +0000

Presenting Episode Two of my Hangover -esque interactive college comedy, "Choose Malone’s Adventure":

And don’t forget to vote for the plot of the next episode here:

ROAR Network

Thanks for watching!

I Am In College..

jking — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 02:08:06 +0000

…so, consequently CollegHumor.com is now publishing my stuff.

Yay recognition!

Boo continued poverty!

Anyway, here they are:

WALDO’S TRAVEL TIPS

SUMMER MOVIE WRAP-UP! BY YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND

The Real Housewives Of William Shakespeare

jking — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 22:31:32 +0000

Oh right, I have this blog.

ATTENTION ALL: my new show, The Real Housewives of William Shakespeare, developed with and directed by the incomporable Ray Chao, is running all month at the Second City Theatre in Hollywood! I’m really proud of this one, so please check it out if you can!

WHEN: Every Thursday in July (7, 14 , 21, 28) at 8PM.
WHERE: Second City (65 Sixty Hollywood Blvd.)
WHAT ELSE: $10 at the door, show runs a tight hour
LINKS: Tickets, Facebook Event,
WTF:

The Real Housewives of William Shakespeare follows eight of the Bard’s most memorable heroines and villainesses as they struggle with status, fashion, hair-weaves, celebrity sex tapes, and other pitfalls of the rich and fabulous. This new show weaves elements from many immortal plays and many, many inconsequential reality TV episodes together into one cohesive narrative. It re-imagines Lady Macbeth as a domineering stage mother, Desdemona as a modern day Nicole Brown Simpson, Viola as an abused personal assistant, and Ophelia as an eccentric designer obsessed with Jared Leto. As the housewives vie for control of a charity fashion event, Puck, a washed-up 90s R&B star, has plans of his own to shift the balance of power.

Written entirely in verse with a mix of modern and Shakespearean slang, “RHWS” is funny enough that anyone can enjoy it, but provides a special thrill for fans of Shakespeare’s writing and Bravo’s programming alike. Complete with such classical staples as mistaken identity, a musical number, soliloquy/confessionals, and of course many, many deaths, “RHWS” is the show that finally gives a group of over-privileged housewives the Shakespearean treatment they richly deserve!

Sunbathing, Malone?

jking — Wed, 18 May 2011 00:06:35 +0000

Heyo,

Here’s something I made for ROAR, the student-run TV network where I’m going to graduate school. It’s an interactive comedy for the undergraduate community on campus. Which option would you choose?

Finale! (finally)

jking — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 21:11:05 +0000

Like a deranged elephant baby expelled from my creative womb, the FINAL WEBISODE of Stephen King High School: the Musical! enters the world today:

Thanks to all those who watched and tolerated my grassroots marketing efforts! It’s been a wild ride to get you chuckling at your monitor…and worth every minute.